I've Been Talkin' With the Lord

Have you ever seen this bumper sticker? Usually seen on a redneck's truck, this sticker tells you exactly what the driver wants you to do. Well, after a recent revelatory experience, I believe God is telling me that exact same thing. (Is God fixin' to say, "Hey - watch this!"?)

Those of you who've followed my experiences closely know what I've been through. And it seems to be staying about the same. Through it all one thing keeps popping up: It ain't gonna get better unless I stop trying to do it myself. (But how do you define better? That's another topic for another day!)

So this morning I was striving to actually initiate a conversation with God. See, like most people I get close to Him then I drift away. Lately I've been away. I tried to fast yesterday to get closer, but broke down around 10:00 last night and pigged out with a three-course meal plus dessert (which was two toasted waffles with yogurt). Last night, I prayed alone and with my wife. This morning, I woke up with a prayer but something told me to keep trying. Suddenly it seemed as if God was replying.

As I asked what He wants me to do, thoughts were popping into my head. The peace that accompanied those thoughts was so complete that I could only believe that it was God, Himself, speaking to me. As I asked what He wants me to do, his reply was simply to trust Him completely. I thought I was doing that. Well, not exactly. See, my idea of what I want and His are apparently not the same thing. My goal is to be financially independent so I can devote full-time to volunteering in the prisons. He said I was already advancing the gospel at work and in my community. My wife is so concerned about our finances that she's ready to quit homeschooling and get a job. He said that He wants her to continue homeschooling, as that is her major part in advancing the gospel. I said, "She'll never believe me!" He said, "Yes, she will."

So, I told my wife that I'd been talking with God. She believed me. With tears in our eyes, from the joy that He has finally responded, we discussed this revelatory experience. We accepted the decision He has made to continue providing for us. We accepted that all we have is truly from Him anyway, so why should we worry about what we don't need.

Don't get me wrong - I'd really like to be wealthy enough to eat out on occasion. I'd really like to be able to quit spending all day at work and volunteer in the prisons full-time. I'd really like to be able to take my kids skiing in Vail and snorkeling in Cancun. And, one day it may happen.

I've rarely felt so at peace with my situation as I am right now.

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Prayer:

Almighty Heavenly Father, we thank you for all you have done in our lives. We thank you for the little things, like shade trees and grass in the summer. We thank you for the big things like shelter from the storm and food in our bellies. And we thank you for the irreplaceable things like our family and friends. Most of all, though, we thank you for the gift of Christ who died that we may live.

Father, as we enter into a new season of trust, we ask only that you continue to provide for us. As we were taught to pray, give us today our daily bread. For without you, we have no provisions at all.

Thank you. In Christ's name we pray,
Amen.

Adios,
Clay

(äd-s) [Spanish adiós, probably translated from French à dieu. (I commend you) to God  : a, to (from Latin ad. See ad-) + Dieu, God (from Latin deus. See dyeu- in Indo-European Roots).]