This, Too, is Pretty Sad

Twenty days between blog updates. And it's not like I'm incredibly busy. I can even get to blogger from work. But, for some reason, I am failing miserably to update my blog.

I think the big problem is that my passion for writing is at a low right now. I have no desire to write. I still get worked up about things, but I just talk about it with live people rather than write in my blog.

Sadder still, though, is the friend who called and asked, “Did you get my message?” Or the prisoner with whom I've been corresponding saying “You must be very busy. I haven't heard from you in a while.” Worse yet - “Have you been praying for me like you promised?”

ow.

Where does the time go? And when I sit down to document it all, I still come up with nothing. I mean, I find time to watch 80-year-old movies, but I can't find the time to write a friend who can really benefit from a letter. I can find time to surf the internet, but not to call a friend who's left four messages for me. I can find time to stay fat and lazy but not to ______ (fill in the blank).

And why do we do this? Why is it so hard to get started doing the easy things? I have my ideas. In my case, I'm lazy. I don't want to do the things I have to, so I find creative ways to get around them. I have my Classic Movie Weekend. I say “I have to spend time with my family.” Hey - what's more noble than that? Or, I update a blog that nobody reads.

OK - that was a cheap shot at you, Squatpuke.

Seriously, though. Who wants to pledge to actually do the noble things you say you're going to do? Who wants to actually find the time to mentor that person who needs help? Who wants to actually volunteer in the prisons or schools or Big Brothers/Big Sisters? Who wants to spend a weekend beautifying their church? Or mowing the lawn for a neighbor who can't? Or visiting a sick friend or family member or church member or total stranger with no family in the hospital? Now, that last one, I don't think I can do.

Prayer:

Almighty Heavenly Father,
You have told us that we are the Body of Christ. We are His hands and feet - His hug and kind voice. Through You alone, working in us, we can demonstrate your immense love for this lost world. But we need to get our lazy selves motivated to do something.

Father, create in us a heart that cries for Your Spirit - for Your motivation - for Your willingness and capabilities to reach out to those around us who may not even know you exist. Shine Your light through us - but get us out into the world where Your light will do some good.

Thank You for being there for us. Now help us to be there for someone else.

In Jesus' Holy Name we pray,
Amen!

Adios,
Clay

(äd-s) [Spanish adiós, probably translated from French à dieu. (I commend you) to God  : a, to (from Latin ad. See ad-) + Dieu, God (from Latin deus. See dyeu- in Indo-European Roots).]

It's So Sad

It's so sad - and all you veterans will likely agree.

This was my “Classic Movie Week” and it includes such classics as “Metropolis” (1928), “Casablanca” (1941), “The Maltese Falcon” (1939), and others. Having discovered the greatness of Humphrey Bogart, I returned to the library and picked up more Bogie Movies (though I still haven't figured out what is meant by “Bogart-ing” a smoke). The one I sat down to watch today was titled “Across the Pacific” and starred his Maltese Falcon leading lady, Mary Astor.

On the top menu of the DVD for “Across the Pacific” was a choice for “Warner’s Night at the Movies”. It included a trailer for a Cagney film about the RCAF, a newsreel with details about raising a sunken Japanese bomber from the bottom of Pearl Harbor, a cartoon (which I have not yet watched) and “Men of the Sky”, a 30-minute story about the heroes of the US Army Air Corps. It is this last portion I wish to elaborate upon.

This was a production of Warner Bros. I do not know their stance during recent years of national trauma, but Hollywood, in general, is very keen to make the American Fighting Men and Women look like terrorists rather than patriots.

“Men of the Sky” begins with a look at a USAAC graduating class - where they came from and where they are going. It ends with... Well, I was going to paraphrase, but I'll let the narrator do the talking. He said it much better than I could.

Through sky and wind and heat and cold, darkness and fog. But that's where we have to go to fight a war. That and a lot of other places. To keep the murderers we know well; the barbarians against the freedom of free people away from our shores, our homes and our families.

What's under those wings? {camera zooms to wings on Airman's chest} Why, the small towns of America. And hundreds of churches where we worship as we please. And kids playing in their front yards. And soda pop. And farmers digging the soil. And the right to say what we think and believe what we believe.

And you're under those wings - you who built the planes that keep 'em flying. You who gave us these boys; who saw them grow up and go to school and get jobs and go off to fight a war for the very things you taught them were worth fighting for. Yes, and you who hope they'll come back.

That's what's under those wings! It's us! All of us and what we're fighting for!

So spread those wings Army Airmen! Spread them over Tokyo! Boom! And Yokohama! Boom! Drop your bombs! Boom! On Berlin! Boom! And Osaka! Boom! And Dresden! Boom! And Hamburg! Boom! Bomb their factories and their ammunition plants! Boom! And blast their planes right out of the skies! Rat-a-tat-a-tat!

The hearts of all of us fly with you under those wings!

Why can't Hollywood make something like that today? Rather than a movie about how the government betrayed their soldiers (“Black Hawk Down”) or about how our government bombed our own shores in order to start a war (“Fahrenheit 911”)? Why can't Hollywood celebrate the men and women keeping us free rather than portraying them as madmen (“Full Metal Jacket”)?

I'm off my soapbox. I want to go watch my cartoon and movie. Let me know what you think. Is it me or Hollywood that's nuts?

Adios,
Clay

(äd-s) [Spanish adiós, probably translated from French à dieu. (I commend you) to God  : a, to (from Latin ad. See ad-) + Dieu, God (from Latin deus. See dyeu- in Indo-European Roots).]

What's my connection...

What is your connection with God? Do you have one? Have you ever felt His presence during a time of prayer or worship? Have you relied on His guidance so much that if you let go you would surely fall? Have you literally communed with Him - by that, I mean established a communal link where you speak to Him and He speaks to you?

For most of us, those are stories in the Bible. For some, those are fleeting moments. For a very rare few, those are everyday occurrences. I fall into the middle category. Either I've experienced communion with Him or I've had some fantastic hallucinations. I lean toward the former. Problem is, those moments are fleeting.

And, I've found that they most often happen when I'm in the presence of the woman who led me to Him. Well, this week, she went to visit her mother out of state. I'm at home alone. 36 hours after she left, I found the alone-ness to be more than I could bear. There I sat, in the pew at church, without her by my side. Though I was surrounded by friends, I was still utterly alone. Suddenly, the realization hit me. Sure, I have found connection with God, but it's only through her.

I spoke with an elder at my church concerning this. I want that connection with Him back. I don't want to have to plug in through her. I am supposed to have a direct connection with Jesus - like I have with people standing right next to me. That happens rarely enough and only with her present. Not to mention the fact that I know how God fixes problems like this - He removes the stumbling block. Just like He's done before by removing my job, rendered my education worthless and shown me glimpses of poor health. Now I'm terrified He'll remove my wife.

So I asked an elder how to fix this. He's been a preacher most of his life; if anyone knows how to fix it, it'll be him. He told me it's simple. “Confess to God what you just told me. Ask Him to fix it.”

I thought, “No way. It can't be that simple.”

I first called my wife and told her my thoughts. I also told her what the elder told me. She said, “You know how God fixes this sorta thing, right?” See, I'm not paranoid. “It's a good thing I came to Mom's house. It'll give you a chance to fix this.”

So I sat down and I prayed. I confessed this co-dependency to Him and asked Him to help me establish a direct connection with Him. I don't pray as much as I should. In fact, I gotta admit that I have a reminder on my computer at work. It pops up once every two hours and simply says “Pray.” There's a funny story about that - and I'll tell it at the end.

Anyway, I don't pray much, but I did on Sunday after I got home from church. And I didn't feel God's presence like I had in those few minutes in my past. What I did feel, was a comfort, even in my alone-ness. In fact, the alone-ness was completely gone. Rather than stay up all night depressed 'cuz I'm all alone, I worked around the house, cleaning my daughter's room some and starting laundry. I went to bed at a decent hour, too.

Is the connection via my wife cut? Am I directly connected to God? Only time will tell for sure. I've shortened the duration on my “Pray” reminder to one hour. It sure cuts into my work. But I think it's worth it in the long run. I don't say much, I just thank Him for giving me His time out of His busy schedule, and ask that He help me to be His representative here on Earth. Another job I'm not doing too well, but that's another topic for another day.

So, pray with me. Pray that I - and, likely, so many others out there - get and keep a direct connection to our Lord and Maker. Pray that we can help others establish and maintain the same connection. Pray for our country's leaders, our lawmakers, our law enforcers and our soldiers. Especially pray for our sailors - I had to add that 'cuz I used to be one.

Prayer:

Almighty Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this day. Thank you for the opportunity you've given each of us to worship you. Your holiness, your majesty. There is nobody worthy of praise except you!

Father, we confess that we have put others in our lives before you. Our spouses, our children, our parents, our friends. We acknowledge that this sin separates us from you. By putting another first in our lives, we set ourselves - and them - up for failure. Nobody can live up to the love you embody. Forgive us this sin, we pray. Pour out your love on us that we may reflect your holiness.

Father, as we move through our lives, pour out your blessings of love and peace upon us. Fill us with your Spirit; your joy.

In Christ's Holy Name we pray,
Amen!

Funny Story

At work last week, a fellow SysAdmin was showing me how a certain software package worked. After installing it, and right when I started it up for the first time, my computer reminded me to pray. He started laughing out loud. “That's scary. You start the program and your computer tells you to pray. I hope it doesn't explode!”

Adios,
Clay

(äd-s) [Spanish adiós, probably translated from French à dieu. (I commend you) to God  : a, to (from Latin ad. See ad-) + Dieu, God (from Latin deus. See dyeu- in Indo-European Roots).]